Friday, January 10, 2014

The Judgment Behind Parenting.

I originally wanted to sit down tonight and write about the amazing dinner we had, but my heart and mind are somewhere else.  I instead want to explore the world of  parenting and the judgment that so often follows.

Throughout my life I have been judged for having views that differ from mainstream society.  But never did it bother me as it does, since having a child.  Only then, did the judgment find a way of sinking its teeth into my heart.   It is exhausting having to defend yourself, your family, your beliefs, and your views from those that prematurely judge you, prior to learning your story.



So this letter is to all of you that have been entwined in the dance of judgement; either on the attacking or receiving end.

Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world.  We all strive to raise healthy and happy children. We do this by researching, talking with doctors, talking with other parents, and drawing our own conclusions about what we feel is best.  The decisions we make are our choice for the betterment of our family.

So why can't we support one another?  Why can't we disagree respectfully and openly, free of judgment? Why do we judge those that parent differently than we do?

I see judgment ALL the time.  Either through averted eyes, hushed comments, questioning stares, or disrespecting words.  This hurts.  And I can't fully comprehend why we do it to one another?

Aren't we struggling enough?  Do we really need to add more pain and pressure to others that disagree or raise their children differently than we do?

My biggest fear having experienced this, is how it impacts my child.  These parents that are so quick to judge me... will their children be equally quick to judge Nya?  And simply because that is what they have learned and witnessed from their parents?

This thought alone is terrifying.

How are we supposed to make this world a better place for our children if we, as adults, simply can't get it? Children learn how to behave based on their examples.  If we can't set forth a judgement free attitude, how do we expect our children to?  How do we expect to end bullying?  To end harassment?  I don't think we will ever break the chain unless we each begin to work on ourselves.

So every day, I encourage you to remember that each person you meet has a story.  Each parent is struggling to be the best parent they can be.  Remember that.  No matter what your beliefs, we all come from the same place and are in the same boat.  We want healthy, happy children. Let's try to remember this, and be conscience of the example we set for our children.  Through our actions, one by one, we can create a beautiful, judgement free world to live in.

To connect with others, find healthy whole food recipes, and share in this journey called life, please visit our Facebook page, Loving Green, at Loving Green FB.

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