Friday, February 14, 2014

Marriage and Dating

It's Valentine's Day. The day of love. The day of romance. The day you celebrate and profess your undying love for one another. Valentine's Day, of all days, should be the one day that you make a date with your spouse to get away from life for a few hours, doing something special...together.

Yet, those perfect plans don't always happen. LIFE happens. It happens a lot. Especially for us. And having a lot of time for special plans and to "date" just doesn't happen much anymore.

Aside from being a stay at home mom to my adorable little 16 month old, I have a dog to take care of, a house to keep clean, finances to manage, meals to prepare, preschools to be interviewing, relationships to build upon, and a business I'm trying to begin.  We just put our house up for sale, and no matter how hard I try, it seems to be the most challenging thing in the world for me to keep clean. Every time I turn around, there is a sticky hand print here, toys there, and dog hair everywhere.

All of this, coupled with a husband who is preparing for yet another deployment, leaves very little time for "dating".

I used to think it would be easy to manage a marriage with children. How hard could it be to go out a few times a month? Apparently, for us, very hard. It doesn't just happen. It really takes a lot of work, effort, and planning to fit schedules together. Our dates have turned into watching TV, playing dominoes, or, as we are doing tonight, sitting in the same room while we each work.

Our hour drives to and from church each Sunday, shopping around Costco, eating dinner (on those rare occasions anymore that we get to) have all become our "date" time. No matter how uneventful or exciting it may be, it is our time that we get to spend together.

Could we put in more effort to "date" each other? Absolutely. We are still navigating dating, while managing life and the time we are given. The journey may be long and full of unexpected obstacles, yet we will continue to work and figure it out together.

What I finally am beginning to realize -- one husband, one dog, and one child later -- is that marriage and dating certainly don't come easy. We have way more responsibilities than we did when we were younger, and much less time to do them in.


So while we definitely could put a little more effort in, we do the best we can with the time we are given.

In a few hours, work will (again) pull my husband away for awhile. Nya just went to bed an hour ago. I'm sitting here writing while my husband packs his gear next to me. It's 8 o'clock and we're both exhausted. And this is our life.

So is marriage always how you imagine it in your mind to be? No.

But I'm beginning (and trying!) to learn, that this is ok.

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

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