Manners....

I've seen this post all over my Facebook news feed today, and I was compelled to share my thoughts because it's just THAT important. You've probably seen it, or heard about it....the "meanest mom ever" who tossed her children's ice cream for not saying "thank you".

I'm not surprised at the number of people who have jumped on the bandwagon; cheering her on and commenting, "I would do the same!"

There's just one little flaw with this way of thinking....What are you really teaching your children??? When someone does not thank you, or respond in the way YOU want them to, you have the right to throw away their things? To be unkind? If you give someone a gift, and they don't say thank you, should you take it away from them and throw it in the trash? What about pushing them because they don't respond "correctly"? 

We only have control over our actions. As parents, we teach and lead by example. Of course we want to instill manners in our children; I agree with that 100%. But maybe, just maybe, there might be a better way to teach that than by punishment?

Our children are always watching and learning from us. I want my daughters to always say hello, please, and thank you. But I certainly am not going to force them. I want my children to acknowledge people and be polite because it's the right thing to do, not because they are afraid I will punish them if they don't.

I say hello. I don't ignore others. I make eye contact when talked to. I say thank you. I use manners. I live the example I want my girls to be. 

And this goes for ANYONE. Would she have thrown away her husband's ice cream? What if it were her best friend? We need to stop treating our children as though they are property beneath us that we can do with as we wish. Punishment is never the answer to a problem. It may create a temporary band aide, but the underlying message is that it's ok to punish those that do not act in ways we want them to. 

And that message sets us all up for failure because the only person we have control over, is ourself.

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