Tested...

Nya picks up on the energy around her... If I'm stressed and tensed, she feels that and reacts negatively. If I question myself and my parenting, she preys and takes advantage. But when I'm happy and at peace, then Nya remains in a calm state regardless of what chaos is going on around us. And when I'm confident in my parenting decisions, she obeys without question.

Knowing that, I still get lost and question myself from time to time. And the past couple of days Nya has definitely tried to test me; when I was overtired and mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. These times I am at my weakest are the times Nya pushes the boundaries to see just what she is able to get away with. And it is in those moments, that I often think to myself, "I understand why parents just give in."


I've been there now too, and realize how much easier it is in the moment to just give in.

Let them have what they want so they don't make a scene in public.

Let them jump on the couch so they don't hurl themselves to the floor screaming bloody murder. 

Let them get out of bed every night, just so everyone gets some sleep.

But then I wonder....

Are those decisions really easier? What happens in the long run to the child that constantly gets his/her way because the parent is worn down in that moment? Do these children grow up to be bratty, whiny, and expectant that the world revolves around them? Are they able to deal with the harsh reality of life as adults?

These thoughts help me to continue forward in times of struggle. They force me to clear my head, remain strong, and find the humor in the situation at hand. I can't help but smile in these moments that Nya is projecting her independence and free will because I know Nya is finding her place in this crazy world.

Nya is no longer a little baby. She clearly communicates her wants and needs; she is becoming her own person and finding her own path in this life. And she is extremely strong willed (but isn't every child?!?). She is going to test me; over... and over... and over again. I only hope to nip the behavior right away, and set clear boundaries for her.

Do I struggle? Yes.

Is it hard? Yes.

Do I want to give in? Yes.

These moments are not without tears and aggravation. But life is too short and this job of parenting is too important not to give my all. At every single moment.

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