Just over a year ago, I sat down to start writing my journey with parenthood. Nya had just turned one, and I remember sitting down, planning to share about her first year of life and what I had learned. What I ended up writing, was how my marriage changed and the struggles we went through as partners during that first year of Nya's life. It was the most challenging and difficult year I have ever faced, and what made it harder was the idea I had in my mind of what it was supposed to be. (Read more here).
I don't think enough people talk about what really goes on behind closed doors. Understandably so. It makes you raw, vulnerable, and open to criticism. But no marriage is perfect, even those that seem like they might be.
Marriage is work, and becomes more challenging with each additional responsibility (children, finances, pets, health problems, etc.). Life becomes a juggling act, and when you're pulled in so many different directions, you forget to make time to connect with one another. And when you don't make the time to connect now, you will feel the effects of it later.
"A great marriage isn't something that just happens;
it's something that must be created."
~ Fawn Weaver
This second year of Nya's life was much easier on our relationship than the first. Nya eating more solid foods, becoming more independent, less breastfeeding, and restful nights helped tremendously. But we also had to dig deep within ourselves and take accountability for what we were, and were not, bringing to the relationship.
I had to get over my anger, hurt, and bitterness towards Jamie for not being there in the way I expected and wanted him to be. We both had to let go of the past in order to be present in the moment and move forward into our future.
It isn't easy. We still struggle. He still drives me insane half the time. And those "helpful little tidbits" of how to parent Nya (when he's not even here!) will probably always have me seeing red.
The point is, you're never alone. Every relationship goes through it's ups and downs. No marriage is easy. Some may be easier than others. There may be months where life couldn't be more perfect. Hang tight and enjoy each moment for what it is. For in the challenging times you grow, and in the easy times you learn.
Every moment is a gift.
To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.
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