What I Learned With Potty Training

The transition from diapers to big girl underwear has been one of my biggest fears and challenges as a parent. It's something so little in the whole scheme of things, and every parent/child goes through it, but for some reason, it brought me immense anxiety and fear. It all became too much a few weeks ago when I had One of Those Days.

I like to be prepared; I research extensively and talk to others excessively in order to feel knowledgeable and confident with my decisions as a parent. Having the background knowledge makes it easier to follow my gut instincts in the forever changing situations I face as a parent.

Yet the idea of "potty training" haunted me. 

At 22 months, we are just over one week in of wearing big girl underwear with zero accidents. This is a HUGE deal. And it seemed to happen over night. Yet when I look back at our journey to get to where we are today, I realize I have unknowingly been "potty training" Nya all along.

When Nya was about 6 months old, I began sitting her on the big toilet any time I noticed she was going poop. She would sit, fully clothed, with my support. We went through the motion of flushing and talking about what she was doing. 

When she was about 12 months, I got Nya her own potty to use. We talked about it and what it was for, but I never pressured her or forced her to go. As the months went on, and I continued to change her dirty diapers, I would tell her that we do these things in the potty. I never put any pressure or made a big deal about it, but it was always a part of our talk.

She began using her potty around 14 months, but it was very sporadic. Nya would tell me when she had to go, and I would help and encourage her. But these times were few and far between. Around 18 months, Nya didn't want Jamie or me around when she went potty, and she would shut the bathroom door.

Every time Jamie left or came home after a long time away, Nya's progress would stall, and she would digress. But I never pushed or forced her.

After Jamie deployed a little over a month ago, Nya refused to use the potty at all. She would bring me a diaper and say, "Change me mama, please." 

I knew Nya understood. I knew she was capable. But I was afraid. I wasn't really sure what I was doing and what direction to take from here. I knew many moms who had success with potty training when they were able to let their little ones run naked. I've had many moms tell me the "3 Day Method" worked wonders. And many have said rewards help.

Perfect. 

We had 5 straight days of rain, so I decided to use that time to kick the potty training into full gear and get Nya out of diapers for good. I let her run around naked and explained that if she needed to go pee pee or poo poo, she needed to use her potty. I had my bases covered. We were housebound, Nya was naked, and I had stickers and chocolate chips to reward her with. How could this go wrong???

It was an epic fail and left me frustrated and near tears. 

Nya fought me every step of the way.  Nya would tell me she had to go, and as soon as she realized what that meant, the fight began. She would hold it for as long as she could. She had accidents. She cried and told me "No!" Eventually, she would use the potty and was doing so regularly, but it was a fight the entire time. This lasted 3 days, and felt like the longest three days of my life.

I was going through a lot personally and this was just more than I was capable of handling. Neither Nya nor I was happy. This clearly wasn't working. I couldn't help but feel like a failure. I felt like I was failing as a parent, and I was letting Nya down.

So I took a deep breath, a step back, and decided to give this all a break. We went back to diapers the next day and I didn't bring up her potty at all. It was still available to her, but gone was the pressure and expectations I had set for myself as a parent and Nya as my daughter.

After four days, Nya told me she needed to use the potty, so I took her diaper off and away she ran, using it immediately. After going, she stood up, proud of herself, proclaiming, "I did it!"

I was speechless. All that agony and she does this?!? I was shocked and so incredibly proud of her. It was in that moment I realized that Nya needed to do this on her own, as she needs to go through every experience and lesson in life on her own. And my job is to be there to encourage and support her in any way I can to help her succeed.

For the first few days I let her run naked and she would go as she needed or wanted. She didn't want to be in a diaper, nor did she want to be dressed. I was ok with this and just let it go.

In the back of my mind, I was thinking, now what?!? This is great and all, but she can't go through life naked!? I quickly quieted that voice and decided to cross that bridge when I came to it. Trying to control the situation had failed me miserably before.

We had our first all day outing a couple days ago. Nya wanted to wear her big girl undies so I explained what that means and that she needed to tell me if she had to go potty. We were at a play center that only had regular toilets. Nya's not used to that, but again, I would cross that hurdle when the time came. Twice while we were there Nya let me know she needed to potty so I took her in, helped her up, and away she went.

It was the biggest relief and one of the proudest moments I've had as a mother. Nya was and is capable; I just needed to give her the space to grow.

We are just over one week without diapers (Nya does still wear them overnight while she sleeps). I know this is just the beginning, and I have completely let go of my fears and expectations surrounding this situation. I know accidents will likely happen, and I finally am ok with that. It's not a big deal, but just a stepping stone for both of us on this journey of letting go.

Each child is different and unique in his/her own way. What works for one family and one child may not work for another. Keep this in mind every time you face a new challenge with your child. Don't ever compare your child's journey with that of another; for your child's journey is just as unique as they are.

Potty Training Must Haves

Baby Bjorn Potty Chair (If you want a small potty - others I tested just weren't very good!)

Flip Potty Trainer Shell (I just use the outer shell over her underwear for long car rides!)

Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi 

Once Upon a Potty by Alona Frankel

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

Nutterly Soft Chocolate Chip Cookies (Oil, Dairy, and Sugar Free!)

My husband and I have gone back and forth numerous times about what our daughter eats. We are in agreement to raise her on a whole food plant based diet, but we still argue over simple matters such as: Treats - what's acceptable and what isn't.

Jamie grew up believing special memories revolved around what you ate:

• A movie requires popcorn, candy and a soda 
• Hot summer months require soft serve
• Ball Parks require a hot dog, nachos, and cotton candy

I don't believe memories should center around food, especially processed junk that becomes addicting and has been linked to many health related problems.

Experiences are what you make them, and children only learn to like junk food because we readily give it to them.

Recently, we took a family trip to Disney World (read more about  eating healthy around Disney here), and Jamie was relentless about giving Nya some vegan ice cream. "It's vegan!" he kept repeating. Yes, I realize we were on a family vacation, and one should indulge...yada yada yada. But why give her something that isn't good for her? Why get her to like something that is chemically altered to make her brain and body crave it?

Nya wasn't asking for it; Jamie wanted her to have it. This is where we need to break the unhealthy cycle.

Food addiction, unhealthy eating habits, and body image begin in childhood. It's the last thing as a parent you want to be worried and thinking about, but it is important we wake up to this epidemic and create a healthier start for our children.

Where did we begin to accept this philosophy that it's normal, and accepted, to eat processed crap? The majority of our country is sick and suffering disease directly related to diet (For statistics from the CDC, click here.  For prevention from the Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine, click here ).

One of my goals as a parent was to create and reinvent food that appealed to little ones and allowed them to eat all that they wanted (cookies, brownies, pancakes, etc.), but in a healthy way that actually benefited their health instead of sacrificing it.

Our children come into this life with a clean pallet, and we have the power to help guide them to choose healthier options. It's harder to change unhealthy eating habits as an adult, than to start a child on the right track from the beginning.

Which is where this cookie recipe came in...

Last week I had made some chocolate chip cookies for a friend, and while they certainly were a better option than most chocolate chip cookie recipes, they still are not really good for you. Since then, Nya has been asking me for a cookie, so this morning we set out to make some.

Now I will tell you upfront; if you've ever had a cookie before, these will disappoint you. The flavor is amazing, but the texture is not quite spot on to a traditional chocolate chip cookie. I've experimented with numerous combinations (and while just about any flour will work), I have not been able to achieve the same texture without using some form of processed sugar. These cookies are good, but you need to have an open mind and be ready for a softer, more cake-like texture.

Which is why these are perfect for young children. This is what Nya knows a cookie to be, and because of the ingredients, I don't mind her having one whenever she wants. By giving her the option to choose her food, Nya doesn't get hung up on treats, and she learns to listen to what her body actually needs. Allowing Nya this control sets her up for a healthy relationship with food, instead of a lifetime struggle of portion control, calorie counting, and marketing gimmicks that plague many adults. Nya is also more open to trying new foods and eating what fuels her body instead of focusing on what she "can't have".

Dough is DELICIOUS and safe to eat!

And one less area of a power struggle is heaven to any parent. So enjoy!

What you need:

* 1/3 c raw cacao nibs

Dry Ingredients

1 c spelt flour

1/2 c coconut flour

1/2 c almond meal/flour

1 tsp aluminum free baking powder

1 Tbsp cinnamon

Blender Ingredients

1/2 c natural almond butter (nothing added)

1 c dates

1.5 large ripe bananas

1 c water

2 Tbsp ground flax (or 1.5 Tbsp flax seeds)

1 Tbsp Vanilla

* Cacao Nibs are very bitter. This is the purest form of "chocolate" before it is processed into chocolate chips. This batter is very sweet so it balances the small amount of cacao, but if your little one just can stomach these, feel free to leave out or use traditional chocolate chips. Enjoy Life is a great organic, non-GMO brand that is nut, soy, and dairy free.

** Any flour combination will work here. I've experimented with chickpea, whole wheat, quinoa, and brown rice flours. 

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine all dry ingredients and set aside.

2. In a high speed blender or food processor, combine wet ingredients and process until smooth.

3. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and stir to combine.

4. Stir in cacao nibs (or chocolate chips if you prefer), and scoop onto a silicon baking sheet. Bake for roughly 15 minutes. Makes 18 cookies. Store in freezer to keep fresh.

Enjoy!

Nutrition Info Per Cookie:

Calories: 165

Fat: 8.7 g

Saturated Fat: 2 g

Cholesterol: 0 mg

Sodium: 7 mg

Carbohydrates: 21 g

Fiber: 5 g

Sugars: 9 g

Protein: 4.1 g

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

One of those Days...

Do you ever just have one of those days?

Today was my breaking my point. We've been stuck inside from heavy rain the past four days (we did go out and play in it here and there but it was just too much, too hot, and too humid!). Nya has been using the potty on and off for the past 8 months, so I took this opportunity to urge her into it full time. Since Jamie deployed about a month ago, she's been refusing to use the potty and has been challenging me with it every step of the way. Everything, for the most part, has come pretty easily and naturally...except for this. And I know my uncertainty and insecurity with the situation, is giving Nya hang ups.

I worry about having accidents in public. How bad will it be? Will it happen during gymnastic and make a mess of everything? What about on the hour drive to Wilmington? How will I clean the car seat? Will other kids make fun of her?

These fears haunt me: The unknown.

But my gut tells me she's ready. She's been ready. She knows when she has to go and has done it numerous times. It's me who is stalling her progress.

It's just one more thing that I'm afraid to tackle, and it all came to a head today.

Nya used her potty this morning, but I put her in a diaper for gymnastics. After class, I took her to the bathroom to try and go before we got back into the car. She screamed bloody murder, and I'm sure those parents around thought I was harming her in some way, since they've ever seen this quiet, polite child talk back, fuss, or cry.

One mother loudly proclaimed to her 3.5 year old son, "You do such a great job using the potty. I'm so proud of you!" as she gave me an averted glance. Another mom had the audacity to say to my daughter, "You poor, poor thing!" All I could do was smile and deal with the screaming child in front of me who continuously repeated, "Noooo Mommy!"

Wonderful.

We finally made it out of gymnastics and drove on to base. We haven't been on base since dropping Jamie off, and as I handed my military ID over to be checked by the Marine, Nya sobbed at the sight of him in uniform, "I miss Daddy. Daddy's working. Come home Daddy!"

This is when I lost it. I've been through deployments. I've been on my own a lot. I'm used to it and can handle it. But I don't want this for Nya. It's not the same as when he's been gone for a couple months or weeks at a time when she was younger. Her world is much different now at 22 months than it was at 12.

And with each deployment, or time spent away, Jamie comes home a little different, and we go through the adjustment cycle all over again. That is the part I hate, even more so than the actual deployment.

As I sat there with the stress of the past few days hanging on my shoulders, my heart crumbled and I began to cry. I don't want to make all of these decisions by myself. I don't want to handle everything alone. I want my partner here, making these decisions with me, and making our family whole. I don't know how so many military families do it. It's certainly not a life I want for my daughter, or my family.

And as my heart broke for her, I found myself getting angry with Jamie. He was supposed to be done with the military by now.We brought Nya into this world on the premise that we would be able to settle down and plant roots somewhere, instead of moving every couple of years. We were supposed to be WHOLE.

Every day Nya says she misses Daddy. And he misses these amazing moments of her life.

The transition to a big girl bed.

The transition from diapers to big girl undies.

Understanding new concepts.

Riding her trike for the first time.

The beginning of preschool.

Birthdays.

Holidays.

The every day life.

I tell Nya that I'm sad too, and that I miss Daddy. We talk about it; Daddy's job, what he's doing, and how much he misses her. And I just have to pull myself together and get back to my positive place. My job now is to fill both rolls for Nya, until Daddy is finally able to come home.

And our family can once again, be whole... For a little while.

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

Curry Quinoa Risotto

I had been getting bored with my quinoa recipes and was looking to try something different. This recipe popped up on my news feed, and I just had to try it. My husband is not a huge curry fan, and I haven't fully mastered cooking with it, yet we were both willing to give this a go. And my almost two year old is pretty much up for anything!

I modified the original recipe and it has become one of our family favorite staples. The flavor is subtle and unique, and it's incredibly filling. It's made from whole food ingredients, so it's not only delicious, but good for you and your little ones. 

Quick Tips:

• I tend to roast the cauliflower early on in the day and let it sit for when I'm ready to put it all together. 

• This meal does freeze well!

• You can sub rice for quinoa, but may need more liquid and a longer cooking time.

What you need:

*1/4 c Veggie Broth

1 Large Onion, chopped

4 Cloves Garlic, Chopped

1.5 c Uncooked Quinoa

*5 c Veggie Broth

1 Head Cauliflower, Chopped

2 Tbsp Curry Powder

1 tsp Sea Salt

1 c Raw Cashews

1/2 c Water

Juice of 1 Lemon

* Can sub water but you will need to up the curry and salt just a bit to balance the flavors lost.

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake cauliflower in a glass pan for about 45 minutes, until it begins to lightly brown (I use frozen cauliflower so it roasts perfectly without adding anything. If your cauliflower is not frozen, add 1/4 cup of water or veggie broth to prevent sticking - No need for oil). When it's done, toss with 2 Tbsp curry powder and pulse in a food processor until is looks the size of rice. (This can be done at any time during the day).

2. In a large pot, heat 1/4 cup of veggie broth. Add onion and garlic and saute for about 5 minutes, until soft.

3. Add in quinoa and salt, and saute for 2 minutes.

4. Add in 1 cup of veggie stock at a time, stirring after each addition, until liquid is absorbed and quinoa is fully cooked.

5. In a high speed blender, combine water, cashews, and lemon juice, and blend until smooth. Add mixture to cooked quinoa, along with the pulsed cauliflower. Fold to combine and cook on low for an additional 2 minutes.

6. Serve and enjoy! Makes about 6 large servings.

Looking for other simple, clean-eating dinner meals your entire family will love? Try these!

Black-Eyed Pea and Quinoa Chili 

Chickpea Quinoa Two Ways

Clean Eating Lasagna

Cream of Broccoli Soup

Creamy Lentil Rice Casserole

One Pot Spicy Lentil Ragu

Quinoa Cake Stackers

Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

Power Packed Adzuki Burgers

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

Creamy Lentil Rice Casserole

With Jamie gone and it being just Nya and me for dinner, I've been a little unmotivated in the kitchen. I haven't been doing anything elaborate, instead, throwing things together at the last minute. But with friends with toddlers coming into town, I needed get back to "real" cooking, and prepare dishes that are not only packed with nutrients, but yummy for all ages!

I adapted this recipe from April over at Kid Tested Firefighter Approved. It was one of the first dishes I made when eliminating dairy from my diet, and one of Jamie's first favorites in the plant based world. This is usually my go to dish when I have to bring something to parties because everyone always loves it, and I can be getting ready while it bakes (a HUGE plus to slaving away in the kitchen all day!).

It does take a long time to bake, but is easy to prepare and full of creamy goodness. And the best part, it's made from whole foods, so it's a great first dish for toddlers!

What you need:

6 cups water or veggie broth

1 cup brown or green lentils

1 cup brown rice (quinoa and millet work here too!)

1 large onion, chopped

8 cloves garlic, chopped or pressed

4 cups loosely packed spinach, chopped

2 15 oz cans of diced tomatoes

2 Tbsp Italian seasoning

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp pepper

Cheeze Sauce 

3/4 cup raw cashews

1 1/3 cup water

4 tsp mellow white miso (any will work, I always happen to have the white on hand)

Juice from 1 lemon

4 Tbsp nutritional yeast

4 tsp tapioca starch (cornstarch or arrowroot powder work also!)

1 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

dash of cayenne pepper


What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Combine all ingredients except for Cheeze Sauce in a 13 x 9 baking dish. Cover with foil and bake for 1 hour 45 minutes.

3. In a high speed blender or food processor, combine all ingredients for the Cheeze Sauce, and process until smooth and creamy.

4. After the 1 hour and 45 minutes, remove foil, add cheeze sauce, and stir until combined.

5. Keep uncovered and bake for an additional 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

Big Girl Bed... What was I thinking?!?

It's been about three weeks since I moved Nya from her crib into her "big girl bed", and thankfully, she has been doing great with it. But those first nights...

A few months before, Nya had been asking for a big girl bed, and after spending a week in a hotel at Disney in their full sized beds without a problem, we decided it was finally time. So once her guardrail came, the crib sides came down and up went her toddler bed.

Nya was ecstatic and couldn't wait to test it out. I was excited for her. I thought this would be a smooth transition, and I wasn't plagued with fear and doubt as my husband apparently was.

How hard can this be??? She's ready for this.

That first night Nya and I talked about what it means to sleep in a big girl bed, and what I expect from her (no getting out). We talked about her cousins and friends that have big kid beds and how she is now a big kid too. We finished our normal bedtime routine (bath, stories, bed); Nya excitedly climbed up into bed herself, I gave her a kiss goodnight, and left her room to her smiling face.

I felt a sense of pride out how easy that just was, and couldn't wait to rub it in Jamie's face.

Five minutes later... 

Nya was up out of her bed screaming for me. Tested. Here we go, I thought.

She was up and out of her bed SIXTEEN TIMES in under ten minutes!

Nya was furious with me. Each time I went into her room, I picked her up and put her right back to bed without a word. I didn't know how long I was going to last, but I knew if I ever wanted this to work, I had to be stronger and more determined than her.

On the sixteenth time of me walking into her room, Nya calmed down and asked me to sit with her. I said, "Thank you for using your words", and held her tight. We sat next to her bed talking about being a big girl and how change can be hard. I then asked her if she would like me to sit with her until she fell asleep, and she said, "Yes, please."

Nya climbed back up into bed and fell asleep in under a minute. Quietly, I left her room, praying this would be it.

The next night Nya climbed into her bed and I sat with her until she fell asleep a few minutes later.

By the third night, it took her a little longer to fall asleep, but she had asked me to stay with her so I did. However, a few hours later, Nya woke up panicked and crying for me, asking where I was.

I stayed with her again until she fell asleep.

By the fourth night, I was seriously questioning what I was doing and was ready to put her crib back into her room. What was I thinking?!?! Exhausted, sleep deprived, and utterly confused, I knew what I was doing was not working... For anyone.

I knew I was making things worse by sitting in her room until she fell asleep, because anytime she woke in the night, she began to panic, wondering where I was. And I also knew Nya was ready for this adjustment and we couldn't go backwards to her crib. Thankfully, Nya never again got out of her crib like she did that first night, but she did cry for me in a panic every time she realized I wasn't there. (At least I had gotten ONE thing right!).

On the fifth day, we had a long talk and I explained to Nya that I was no longer going to sit with her, but that I would watch her on the monitor. She said, "Ok" and it seemed to give her some reassurance.That night, Nya went to sleep by herself without a problem. She stayed asleep, and has not cried out for me again.

That was three weeks ago, but it took sixteen times and four nights to get there.... For now.

I know children are ever-curious and have minds of their own, so who knows what tomorrow will bring? This was just one battle and lesson, in a lifetime of many. Nya will continue to test me to see what her boundaries are, and it's my responsibility to clearly define what I expect from her. I'm glad I didn't give in, as I so badly wanted. But I'm sure I'll be there again, just with a different scenario. Despite the struggle, I'm thankful for overcoming this challenge now (because it was going to happen sooner or later), and I am forever grateful to Nya, for continuing to teach me endless lessons in this life: the importance of patience and the power of persistence. 

How did you transition your little ones into a big kid bed? Did you face any challenges or struggles? Or are you one of the lucky ones that transitioned without a hitch? Please share!

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.

Life Changing Spinach Artichoke Dip

Seriously, this dip really was life changing for me. Why? Because before this, I wondered how I would ever live life without dairy.

I had been vegetarian my entire life, but made the switch to ditch all animal products when my daughter was born (read more here). When I first gave up dairy, I did it for health reasons, and I still craved and wanted cheese. I thought Greek yogurt was healthy and "necessary for my diet", as I had so often been told. I simply couldn't imagine what I'd eat without dairy.

Enter cashews... They quickly became my best friend on this plant based journey, and I use them all the time in creating creamy/cheesy recipes like lasagna, spreadable soft cheese (think cream cheese) and my feel good cheese sauce. Cashews come from the earth, have naturally occurring vitamins and minerals (as opposed to synthetic ones added to dairy products), are not processed, and you don't have to worry about growth hormones or antibiotics (among other things, as you do with dairy). Not to mention, over 50 million Americans and nearly two thirds of the world's population has some form of milk allergy (Center for Food Allergies).

This spinach artichoke dip allows you to enjoy a favorite comfort food without feeling sick or bloated, and it's made from whole foods.

I've simplified this recipe from Dreena Burton at Plant Powered Kitchen to keep it clean, easy, and delicious. It is a MUST try, and better than any spinach and artichoke dip I've ever had. I make it when I'm craving something creamy and comforting, and it's the perfect food for entertaining guests. Even my dairy eating friends love it!

We like it warm, but it can also served cold as bread bowl or as a sandwich spread. Serve it with fresh veggies, artisan bread, or homemade tortilla chips. I served this to my little one shortly after she began eating solid foods because it's made from whole food ingredients, and packed with nutrients such as healthy fats and iron.

You and your family can eat all of the food that you desire; the trick is learning how to create the clean option using whole foods; not low or fat free processed ones.

What you need:

2 cups raw cashews

3 cups water

10 cloves garlic

1 large or 2 small lemons

2 tsp ground mustard

Sea salt and pepper to taste

4 cups frozen or jarred artichokes (make sure they are not soaked in oil or a marinade)

4 cups loosely packed spinach

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

2. In a high speed blender or food processor, combine everything but the spinach and artichokes (cashews, water, ground mustard, garlic, lemon, salt, and pepper) and blend until smooth.

3. Add the spinach and artichokes and pulse to incorporate, making sure to keep some texture (Do not fully blend!).

4. Transfer to an oven proof baking dish and bake for about 30 minutes.

Enjoy!

PIN IT FOR LATER: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/61361613648033046/

To connect with others in this crazy journey of life, discover new parenting ideas & fun DIY projects, learn about holistic remedies, & find whole food plant based recipes, please visit our Facebook page Loving Green at Loving Green FB.